Emosi

 I've been going through my basic courses again as I changed my career back to SMRT.

Which is kinda funny. I started my job back in SMRT when I first got married in 2015. 

Now, I am back in SMRT when I get my divorce 11 years later. The irony.

So safety has always been a big thing in SMRT. Today, they showed us incidents that resulted in the loss of limbs, and ultimately, lives. 

Back in 2016, 2 trainees lost their lives due to multiple lapse in safety. 

Back in 2020, a young man lost his life in a freak incident where a metal piece was flung out of it's holder when the hydraulic press was operated. The worst news is that he was 2 weeks away from his wedding.

It just got me super emotional and I was shedding some tears at the back. Watching a video on how their parents were grieving for their sons.

I had always thought of the safety of my family but my once was significant other did not see the sacrifices that I poured into the family. I couldn't help thinking if I were in those boys' shoes where I didn't know better and the safety lapses caused an accident to happen and take away my life.

It still hurts. It's even more hurtful that I am shedding these tears alone. 

Despite all that, I know I will still move forward. I just do not know how long it will take for me to heal. 

I definitely need support... Can someone ever validate and accept my sensitivity and become my source of safety? I've always been alone.